


When the Heart Stopped Beating

by insouciant



Category: Thor (2011)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Angst, Drama, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-03-24
Updated: 2012-04-22
Packaged: 2017-11-02 11:05:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/368290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insouciant/pseuds/insouciant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thor/Loki AU slightly based on stories of Supernatural; hunter-vampire relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

Waking up hasn’t been this weary in a long time. Loki knows there is something amiss the moment he gains consciousness. He hears faint footsteps, coming closer and closer. Familiar footsteps, but he can’t make out who they belong to. He hasn’t felt this groggy since… Well, since he was turned.

 

“Dead man’s blood knocked you up pretty god, huh?”

 

“… Thor?”

 

“It’s good to see you again, but I guess I can’t say the same for you.”

 

Loki recognizes the voice instantly. But how did he get to him? Loki always thinks ahead of everything, of everyone, especially with Thor. After those lost months of painful wandering, Loki finally set his mind straight to do one thing: to protect Thor. Ever since then, he’s been silently trailing him; he wanted Thor safe from all those reckless jobs he took that he shouldn’t be doing by himself. Though Thor survived with dumb luck after each dangerous hunt, Loki wanted to be there just in case. Just in case he can be of help to him.

 

There was, however, one more thing: by no means, should he ever let his presence be known to Thor. Thor is a hunter and Loki, a vampire. It would do no good to neither of them if they were to meet. The consequences would be inevitable. Loki doesn’t want Thor to go through the pain of having to rid of someone he cared for. Being silent and fast, those are what he is good at now. Hiding from Thor wasn’t a difficult task. _So how did he find me?_

 

Loki wants to ask him. How? Why? But everything is painful. This numbing pain spreading throughout his body just won’t stop. _A dead man’s blood would do the job alright._ After a while of adjusting to the continued pain, Loki carefully opens his eyes. Thankfully, the place is dark with the exception of a light bulb hanging right above where Loki’s face is. He turns his face to his left to see a tall figure standing at a near distance.

 

Loki can’t see him well enough. _Damn this light._ He wants to cover his eyes from the light with his hands, but they are bound to each side of the bed with silver chains. _Dead man’s blood, silver chains, now what else?_

 

“Thor, how did you-”

 

“How did I manage to hunt you down?”

 

Loki cringes and it’s not because of the light. It’s Thor’s voice; the harshness of his voice just didn’t sound right. No matter how much trouble he got himself into, how stubborn he got at times, and how he rarely apologized for any of them, Thor never spoke harsh to him. Not even when Loki lied to him that night, with his voice ice cold, of how he didn’t want to live with a hunter anymore, with a person who can’t even take care of the people he loves, moreover himself, Thor wasn’t angry at him. Rather, he pleaded and tried to reason with him.

 

“You’re just the same, aren’t you? You always think that you’re ahead of everyone, always scheming. I guess that slyness of yours never died out. Was it the one thing that you grabbed onto as you turned?”

 

“Thor, why are you-”

 

“I found out that someone was tracking me. It didn’t take me long to figure out that someone was you. So I purposely started leaving some trails behind. You come when I hunt and leave as soon as I’m done. Today’s demon hunt? That was for you.”

 

Demon hunt. Yes, Loki remembers. He remembers how Thor cornered a demon in an alleyway. He remembers cringing as Thor stabbed the woman in the neck with his “special” knife. He also remembers further back when both Thor and Loki weren’t happy about the fact innocent lives had to be lost to kill demons. They wanted to find a better way to kill demons without hurting the possessed victims. _You got to think like a hunter, son._ Odin’s voice echoes inside him as the memory fills his head. He always pushed his son to become a true hunter; _a heartless one._

 

After the hunt, Loki had to find a place to hide himself. The sun was rising. His skin was already burning. He remembers finding an abandoned building and crouching in the darkest corner to rest his eyes. However, he doesn’t remember anything afterwards.

 

“You didn’t think it odd how I started hunting at strange hours? I mean, hunters always hunt at night, which must have been very convenient for you, but I try to get to bed before sunrise. But to catch you, I had to hunt just at the right time, so that when I was finished with those monsters, it’d be time for sunrise and for you to run off to your hiding place. And you can be so predictable, already deep asleep when I got to the building. All I had to do was inject you with some dead man’s blood and liquid silver. Hunting vampires is getting too easy these days.”

 

 _He’s changed._ It’s this realization—Thor’s change—that hurts Loki more than anything else. He’s been trailing behind Thor all along, so how did he not know? How did he not realize how much he has changed, became just like his father, as he witnessed the vicious ways Thor hunted and kill those creatures without mercy?

 

Thor was his only hope from giving in to his instincts. He fought and fought to keep the temptations away from his heart. His feelings for Thor and memories shared with him kept his heart human. His heart that stopped beating the moment he was turned still yearned for Thor. Still wanted to protect him from harm and embrace him like he used to.

_You are the only one that keeps me from turning like my father. You’re my only string left from going crazy. I really don’t know how I would have done it without you, if you weren’t always beside me. So please, stay with me, Loki. Stay with me forever._

 

Many years ago, after arguing with his father, Thor, drunk and melancholic, tightly hugged Loki from behind and repeated those words over and over again. As usual, Loki put him to bed and whispered words of promise that he’ll never leave him and that he’ll stay with him no matter what. As the memory seeps in, Loki lets out a sob.

 

“Thor, what… What happened to you?”

 

“… I lost you.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life as a hunter is the hardest way to live, but that doesn't mean that life is easy for people who aren't hunters.

Hunters always say that life as a hunter is the hardest way to live. Loki agrees. It is the most underappreciated job in the world along with being the most dangerous. Though he’s not a hunter and he never will be—he never liked hurting anyone or anything—he knows well enough of how hunters risk their lives for each and every job they take to make the world a safer place. He knows this because he was raised under a hunter family.

 

Loki never liked to call it an adoption. “It was more like a foster care,” he would say. It was true after all. He was already thirteen years old when he was taken in by Thor’s family and, obviously, with no legal procedures. Though Loki is, and will always be, grateful for the care the family gave to him—at least by Frigga and Thor—they weren’t _his_ family. Odin and Frigga weren’t his parents and Thor wasn’t his brother. And that was that.

 

Loki agrees that life as a hunter is tough, but that doesn’t mean that life is easy for people who aren’t hunters. Loki’s family was always poor. He remembers that well, because he doesn’t have any memories of a good home, good clothes, or good toys. But he also remembers that his parents and his brothers tried their best to support the family. They worked hard, very hard. And slowly, situations improved enough for the family to move into a small house away from the dingy apartments Loki lived all his life. When they first moved, Loki complained to his brothers that the house was too far away from other houses and that it was always too quiet around the place.

 

However, those complaints were soon forgotten when Loki eavesdropped and heard his parents planning for his thirteenth birthday party. He never had a birthday party before. He didn’t mind the eerie quietness anymore. All the people would come over and the house won’t be quiet anymore. But Loki didn’t have to wait until his birthday for the quietness to be broken. That night, the house was filled with screams of pain and horror. By the next morning, Loki was covered in blood of his family and the monsters that attacked them. He could’ve been lying there lifeless with them if it wasn’t for Odin and Frigga who came to hunt down the vampires. Odin, the famous vampire slayer.

 

The three vampires who came in during the night and tortured the family were either staked or beheaded. The house had to be burnt down. Frigga cried with Loki, held tight in her arms, as he tried to run back into the burning house.

 

“I want to be with them! I want to die with them!”

 

He yelled and fought her to go back in the house. It broke Frigga’s heart to hear a young boy, nearly the same age as their son, Thor, to say such a thing. When asked, Loki answered that he knew no other family and no other place to stay. And that’s when Frigga made up her mind. Of course, Odin didn’t like the idea of it; the boy wasn’t a hunter. He was too weak and too much of a risk. But Odin knew that there was no stopping Frigga once her mind was made up. Reluctantly, he took Loki home with Frigga.

 

∞∞∞∞∞

 

Thor was delighted to have a friend. Though he never complained and admired his parents as hunters, he didn’t like the fact that he moved around so much, leaving him with no friends. Just as Thor was about to give up his hope of ever having friends, his parents came back from a hunt with a small boy with dark hair. They said his name was Loki.

 

Frigga held the boy in her arms and whispered words of comfort before asking Thor to take him to his room to help him get settled. She could tell that the boy was still angry at her for not letting him go into the burning house. _Maybe_ , she thought, _maybe Thor would be able to ease his mind a bit_.

 

As Thor’s parents left to get some rest, he took Loki’s hand and led him upstairs to his room. After he shut the door to his room, Thor looked at him more closely. The boy looked weary and his eyes looked sad, so sad that Thor didn’t think twice before he went up to him and gave him a warm hug. He wasn’t sure what happened to the boy, but he was sure that he needed a hug. Thor was surprised when the boy didn’t push him away but rather, hugged him back, his small body shaking as he shed tears on Thor’s t-shirt. Thor didn’t know what to say, so he just hugged him tighter.

 

∞∞∞∞∞

 

Odin never came to like the boy even after he became a part of the family. The boy was always so quiet. He was never a man, or a boy, of action. Sometimes Odin thought he was even sly, always thinking too much and never letting others know what was actually going on in his mind. He was also unhappy how his only son, Thor, got too attached to the boy. Sometimes he thought that the boy was manipulating him. He didn’t like the way Thor turned so soft when he was with Loki. Thor needed to become a true hunter. The thought of his boy turning into a weak, ordinary boy was not pleasant at all.

 

When the matter was brought to his wife, however, she thought there was nothing wrong with them. She always told him that it was because Thor never had a friend before. _How can you expect him to not get attached to the only friend he has_ , she would say. It was an unsatisfying answer, but he let his suspicions pass.

 

∞∞∞∞∞

 

Fifteen years later, Odin cursed the day he brought Loki home. When he found out that Thor and Loki weren’t simply friends, but much more than that, all hell broke loose. While Thor was away from home, Odin dragged Loki out from Thor’s room and beat him again and again until Frigga jumped in between them demanding him to stop this madness. But there was no stopping for Odin. Finally, he pointed a gun at Loki yelling him to get the hell out of their house. Loki didn’t dare argue with him. He held out both of his hands, apologizing, and left the house immediately. He could hear Frigga yelling angrily at Odin for what he’s done. Loki knew that it would take time for Odin’s anger to simmer down. Until then, he needed to be away from him. But he had nowhere to go.

 

∞∞∞∞∞

 

When Thor came back from his hunting trip to realize what has happened between Odin and Loki, he didn’t waste time arguing with his father. With pursed lips, he shut the door to his house, hands holding bags full of Loki’s and his belongings. He found Loki seated in a small bar all bruised up. Anger boiled inside him once again, his body already turning around to go back to confront his father, but Loki’s hand grabbed onto him. _I’m fine_ , he reassures Thor again and again.

 

Thor blamed himself for being foolish enough to think that his father would be happy for them. He regretted not getting a place with Loki sooner. He never thought there was any need for it. The house for him, as a hunter, was simply a place to rest his eyes. The house was empty most of the time anyways with all the family, except for Loki, leaving for various hunting trips. He could’ve gotten a separate place sooner and save all the shouting and hurting from last night.

 

Now Thor needed to find a place for the both of them to stay. Finding a place wasn’t a difficult task. Thor knew people; he had connections with people he had met during his hunting trips. Finding a new place wasn’t the reason Thor was so angry and upset. It was Loki. Thor’s fists tightened as he checked Loki’s cuts and bruises. Loki didn’t deserve this. He’ll never let anyone hurt Loki ever again. _Never._

 

∞∞∞∞∞

 

Soon after the incident that ended the close father and son relationship, Thor and Loki moved into a small house not too far from his parents’ place. Thor wanted to move away as far as they could, but Loki insisted they stay close in case his parents needed any help. “He’s just surprised. Just give him some time,” Loki said. Though Thor was still angry from what his father did to Loki, deep in his heart, he knew Loki was right. Loki was always right.

 

There wasn’t much to unpack. They would probably move often as the job required them to do so. The bed was too small for the both of them, but they didn’t mind it so much. Loki cringed as he unbuttoned Thor’s shirt. There was a new cut to his chest. “As if you don’t have enough already,” Loki muttered as he traced the various scars left on Thor’s torso. Thor simply smirked and replied, “occupational hazard.” Loki sighed and smacked Thor on the forehead.

 

Somehow smacking each other became tickling each other which then became a wrestling match on the small bed. Eventually they both fell down on the floor as they kissed each other deeply, hands hovering all over their bodies. For some reason, they couldn’t stop giggling as they continued shedding their clothes off, giving each other small kisses here and there. “I have to admit, it is good to have our own place,” said Loki as he placed a kiss on Thor’s neck.

 

∞∞∞∞∞

 

A couple weeks later, Odin stopped by Thor and Loki’s house. There was no need to ask how he found them. Odin had more connections than Thor. He asked for forgiveness for what he had done. Although, Loki accepted his apology, he couldn’t look him in the eyes. He could still see the anger in his eyes.

 

Odin asked for Thor’s help. There were vampires to be hunted near the area. He wanted Thor to go with his mother to help hunt a small nest of recently turned vampires while Odin tracked the head of the group responsible for turning those young kids into monsters.

 

Loki’s heart skipped a beat. _There were vampires in town._ He couldn’t help but think of his family. And all of a sudden, everything reminded him of that night. The small house he moved into with Thor, the quiet location away from other homes to hide Thor’s life as a hunter, and his birthday was coming soon, a birthday he refused to celebrate ever since that night.

 

As Thor packed his hunting tools to get ready for the hunt, Loki put his shaking hands in his pants pockets. He didn’t want to worry him. “I’ll be back by tomorrow morning,” Thor gave him a squeeze on the shoulder as he headed out the door.

 

Loki wanted to stop him from leaving. He wanted to hold him and beg him not to go, tell him that he was scared, but he swallowed it all. He swallowed it all, because he’s a grown man, because he was responsible for protecting himself from dangers, and mostly because, Odin’s eyes bore into his threateningly, silently warning him to stay out of their business.

 

Loki collapsed on the floor as Odin stepped out. The house didn’t feel safe anymore without Thor. _Something didn’t feel right._ The sun was still shining bright outside, but everything seemed darker inside. He was not a hunter. He only ever helped Thor improve some of his weapons and gather information for him. He searched through the house and grabbed a hold of a long knife. _Just in case,_ he thought. _Just in case._

 

∞∞∞∞∞

 

The hunt ended tragically. Thor and Frigga barely escaped from the nest. Those vampires weren’t recently turned. They were old and they were powerful. _It was a trap._ Frigga lost too much blood. Thor rushed to the hospital, his mother limp in his arms. She whispered in his ears to go find Odin and Loki. In less than an hour, Frigga closed her eyes forever.

 

Thor kept telling himself that Odin and Loki were fine. His father probably killed that son of a bitch vampire and Loki was probably safe at home, but he couldn’t stop his tears, his emotions still raw. It was suppose to be a simple hunt!

 

Thor rushed out of his car when he found the door to his house smashed. He held tight to his machete stained red from the vampires he killed the night before. There was no one in the house. That wasn’t right. _Where was Loki?_ Thor opened the door to his bedroom and kneeled in despair as he saw the bed wet with blood. _So much blood._

 

All of a sudden, heavy footsteps echoed the halls outside the room. Thor grabbed his machete and headed outside. _Let them come. I’ll kill them all._ However, in front of Thor was Odin. Thor’s eyes widened as blood dripped down from Odin’s arms. Thor ran towards him to help him down to the floor. It wasn’t just his arms. Every part of his body was blood. Thor’s vision became blurry from all the tears. He roughly wiped them off so he can check Odin’s injuries better. There was too much blood. There was too much…

 

“I’m so sorry… My selfishness… I just thought you’d be… stronger without him… Forgive me… everything is my…”

 

Thor couldn’t hear his father’s last words as his ears were filled with his heavy breathing and pounding heart. He just wanted Odin to live. He already lost two people he cared for. He wouldn’t be able to bear it if his father died. _Please, please, please_. He prayed to whoever was listening. He begged and begged.

 

∞∞∞∞∞

 

The next day, two houses not far from each other were burnt down mysteriously.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When truth becomes lies and lies become truth.

_I lost you._

 

Thor’s words echo in Loki’s ears over and over again until they become sharp shards tearing apart what is left of his heart. It is as if Loki’s worst nightmare has come true. Part of him accepts the blame, but part of him wants to yell that he didn’t ask for all this. He never wanted to become a creature that he hated more than anything else in the world. Loki didn’t ask for much in his life. He just wished for a safe and quiet life with Thor. Those weren’t asking for much. So why did it have to be him?

 

Loki shuts his eyes to avoid Thor’s stern face. Oh, what he must have gone through to say such painful words with such lack of emotion! Memory of the night he was attacked flickers through the darkness. Loki still has nightmares of that night. The knife he was holding became useless as those vampires broke down the door and ran towards him. The worst part, though, was realizing who was behind it all. His scream for help, for Thor, was silenced as he saw the man walking in behind the vampires. He shall never speak of it to Thor, _never_.

 

Loki’s body was already in too much pain. Dead man’s blood slowed down the agility and paralyzed him and liquid silver spread sharp pains throughout his whole body. But these tears falling down his cheeks were not for the physical pain. They were for Thor. Maybe Loki should have told him the truth instead of leaving him like that. Maybe he shouldn’t have lied. But no reason seemed convincing enough for Thor to let him go. If he wouldn’t have lied, Thor would have never let go.

 

Loki still remembers how relieved Thor was to see him. Relieved was an understatement. His face, weary and worn after losing everyone he loved, lit up so much seeing him that Loki had to try so hard not to run up to Thor, to tell him everything that has happened, and to embrace him in a tight hug. No, he couldn’t do any of it. That was the first time he ever yelled at Thor. He lied to him about how he never wanted to be near a hunter ever again. He lied about running away from their house when he saw Odin being attacked, because he realized that nothing was worth losing his life, his safety. They were all lies, hurtful lies.

 

Then Loki left. He simply turned around without saying goodbye. Oh, how the whole town spent the night in terror as Loki howled and yelled in pain in an abandoned building as he tore down and broke everything he can get a hold of. He wanted to go back. But he couldn’t risk it. He couldn’t risk Thor’s life for the sake of their love. He wanted Thor safe and he was too dangerous to be around him.

 

Loki painfully opens his eyes as he hears metals clanking near him. Thor is spreading out his weapons in front of him on top of an old wooden table. Loki sees that they are all weapons to kill a vampire, weapons that he once helped Thor create and improve.

 

Instinctively, Loki shrinks back in fear, but there is nowhere for him to run. On his back was a thick, cold wall and his hands were cuffed in silver chains. Thor raises his eyes from the weapons to see Loki curled up as much as he can on the corner of the bed. He can see the fear in his eyes. Thor smirks and shakes his head.

 

“You’re no different from them, are you?”

 

“What are you trying to do to me?”

 

Loki asks, his voice shaking, as he tries to force his body to move. It only worsens the pain. He eyes Thor’s face carefully in hopes of finding out his intentions, but he finds none. He used to be so good at that. He used to always tease Thor that he was so easy to read, so predictable. His face now showed nothing, nothing but anger, and that only increased his fear. Loki’s eyes move from Thor’s face to his hand hovering over the weapons.

 

“I didn’t bring you here to chat, you know. I need information.”

 

“I don’t know anyone. After the first few months, I’ve been on my own.”

 

Loki cringes as Thor clicks his tongue in disappointment. His hovering hand finally stops and picks up a small dagger. Loki knows what that is. It’s a dagger made out of pure silver. Knife wounds on vampires were painful, but didn’t tend to last as long. However, knife wounds caused by silver amplified the pain and took longer to heal. The silver chains rattle as Loki tries to escape from them.

 

“Well, let’s see how long you can keep up with the lies.”

 

“Thor, please…”

 

Loki asks in a voice barely a whisper. His eyes avert to Thor’s hand as he approaches with the dagger. His body was already in more than enough pain. This pain taking over his body was all too new and frightful for him as he has never been attacked or hunted down by hunters since he was turned. His hands tremble at the thought of the dagger cutting his skin open.

 

“Tell me about Laufey.”

 

 _Laufey_. At the mention of Laufey, Loki’s eyes slowly meet Thor’s. What are his intentions? Why does he want to know about Laufey? Loki isn’t sure how much Thor knows about Laufey. Every vampire hunter knew about Laufey. Even as children, Thor and Loki knew he was one of the strongest and oldest vampires and that his children—his creations—were all over the world, or at least that was the legend. But that was all they knew until the day Loki was turned.

 

 _Does he know the whole truth?_ But surely, if Thor knew the whole truth, he wouldn’t have hurt Loki like this. But how much truth does he know? Loki doesn’t know where to begin. He can’t tell him everything. He has sworn to himself that he’ll never speak of it to Thor.

 

“Laufey’s my maker.”

 

Loki has always been careful with words and he knows that now is a great time to choose his words wisely. At least for Thor’s sake, truth must be told. _But is it a crime to leave out some parts?_ He wants to tell Thor about everything, but uncertainty shadows him now that he’s seen Thor, changed and angry. He is not sure whether the truth will help him or kill him. He’s not sure about anything anymore. Loki inhales sharply as the cold blade touches his left hand.

 

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

 

Loki swallows thickly. He doesn’t where to start. The moment Thor left to hunt? The moment those vampires broke into their house? The moment he was turned by Laufey? There’s so much to tell but not all can be said. He wants to protect Thor and he doesn’t know how to do so without changing some of the truth.

 

“Laufey saved me. He saved me from other vampires. I was dying, Thor. They broke me and ripped me apart. And Laufey saved me from them.”

 

The memory comes and goes, but when it comes, it is sharp and painful and Loki still shivers in fear. It was fear, it was betrayal, it was pain, and all those became constant within Loki even after he accepted his fate.

 

“No, he didn’t save you. He killed you. And he made you a _monster_.”

 

Loki cringes as he feels his heart sting. He still remembers it. He remembers it like it was yesterday. Even though his vision was blurry and body was weak with all the pain, he remembers.

 

Laufey killed them all so easily. When he gently lifted his dying body up, Loki begged him. _Please, please, please_. He’s not so sure what he was begging for. Please save me so I can see Thor again? Or please kill me so I won’t have to feel all this pain? But when Loki saw fangs protruding between Laufey’s teeth, he squirmed and resisted as much as he could despite all the blood loss and broken bones.

 

_You won’t be able to survive with all these injuries. If you want to live, I’ll have to turn you._

 

Laufey’s soft words and his gentle caress on his face, covered in tears and blood, calmed Loki’s pounding heart. _But I don’t want to live as a monster. I don’t want to… I don’t want to become the monster that killed my family._ He tried to talk, to beg, but his voice didn’t work anymore. And all he could do was to struggle against Laufey’s hold.

 

_It’s going to be okay. I promise. I’ll take care of you_ _so you won’t become_ _a monster_ _. I’ll teach you how to be in control of your instincts. I’ll teach you everything_ _._ _Think of the man you love. How will he cope knowing you died like this? Live_ _a_ _nd you will have_ _an_ _eternity to love him. You will have_ _an_ _eternity to protect him._

 

He was dying. He knew it because he felt it all over his body. His body was getting cold. He can’t deny that part of the reason he made such a regrettable decision was because of fear, but more than that, it was Thor. The temptation was too much. To see Thor once more, just before he close his eyes for good. Maybe his body was in too much pain and he wasn’t thinking straight, because despite his mind yelling _no, no, no,_ he nodded and allowed Laufey to take him, to change him.

 

“He saved me, Thor. I just wanted to… I just wanted to see you-“

 

Unexpected pain shoots through his arm as Thor slides the sharp tip of the dagger from Loki’s hand all the way up to his elbow. Loki bites his lips as hard as he can, but whimpers escape through. Loki chooses not to look down, but Thor’s bloody hand now roughly clutching his chin tells him that the damage was done.

 

“Don’t you dare lie to me! When I said I needed information, I meant for the truth and truth only! I know everything, Loki. I know the whole story. I brought you here because I wanted to see you confess the truth to me!”

 

There is so much anger in Thor’s eyes. Loki’s left arm shakes in pain. The dagger did its job. _So much pain._ It was as if hundreds of sharp needles were piercing his skin over and over again.

 

“What truth do you want from me? Laufey turned me and trained me. He saved me from turning into one of those out-of-control vampires. He kept me locked up until I can control myself which took me months. He only fed me animal blood and even when I was allowed to go out he taught me how to hunt animals, not humans! He knew I wanted to leave. He knew that I hated staying with other pack of vampires, so he allowed me to go. After he thought I won’t be harming anyone, he let me go, Thor. Ever since then, I’ve been following you on your hunting trips. That’s the truth. And there’s nothing more.”

 

Thor growls in frustration as he pushes Loki roughly down onto the bed. He tears Loki’s shirt up and begins to carve lines and lines on his chest. He can’t stand anymore lies. Loki screams and sobs in pain as he squirms under Thor’s heavy weight, but a vampire whose body was filled with dead man’s blood and silver was more vulnerable than human’s. As the number of lines increases on Loki’s pale body and the blood begins to soak the bed sheets, Loki doesn’t struggle as much. His body twitches in pain without anymore struggles and his screams become silent whimpers.

 

“I will kill you, Loki. Don’t you think that I won’t be able to because of our past. But I will kill you only after you spit out the truth. How you deceived me! How you deceived my parents who saved you from those monsters when you were young! How you sold us all out and allowed them to die in vain! They should have just left you there to die! They should have burnt the house down with you in it!”

 

Thor can’t contain his anger any longer. _The lies._ The lies he’s lived his whole life made him sick. His anger and disgust only grow as his heart still aches seeing Loki like this. He swallows his sobs as he throws the dagger away on the floor and sits up from the bed. He turns to see Loki. It is hard to see his face, turned to the wall, with such little light. With a deep sigh Thor stands to get a drink. It was a bad idea to even think that he could do this with a sober mind.

 

As Thor is about to head upstairs he hears Loki whisper, his shaking hand moving as if to grasp something. And it breaks Thor. It breaks him because it brings back memories.

 

_Loki never enjoyed waking up early in the morning_ _. When Thor leaves the bed to leave for another hunting trip, he_ _would always stretch his arm towards_ _him_ _, too lazy to leave the bed. And Thor would always_ _walk back to_ _hold his hand for a few minutes until Loki would_ _fall_ _back to sleep. He_ _would then tuck his arm back into the blankets_ _and always leave the room with quick, quiet steps._ __

 

Without realizing Thor walks back to the bed and gently holds Loki’s hand. His whispers are so soft that Thor can barely hear them.

 

“Whatever I’ve done, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry that I didn’t stay with you. I’m sorry that you had to change like this. But I swear, Thor, I… swear that I’m telling you the truth. I never lied to you. I would never-“

 

Before he can finish, Thor lets go of his hand. Why can’t he just admit the truth and make things easier for the both of them? Thor roughly runs his hand through his hair. He needs to get some fresh air before continuing this. He’ll kill Loki, eventually, he will. He’ll kill him and then he’ll kill Laufey and everything will be over, everything.

 

“Thor, please, listen to me. I swear-“

 

“What do you swear on, hmm? God? You swear on God? You were set for hell the moment you stepped into our house sixteen years ago! There’s nothing you can swear on. There’s no God for you.”

 

Thor tries to ignore Loki’s sobs as he heads upstairs. _There’s no need to pity him. He’s a monster that killed my parents._ He walks to the fridge and grabs a bottle of beer and heads outside.

 

The sun was out but the sky was gray. And the breeze felt good. _It’s Loki’s favorite kind of weather._ As soon as he realizes what he’s thought of, Thor bitterly laughs. For more than half of his life, he’s loved Loki. Loki was his first love, and so far, his last. And now he’s trying to torture him to death. _How romantic._ His heart keeps telling him to stop what he’s doing, to listen and trust Loki, but he refuses to listen to it. It’s broken. It’s not working well.

 

It wasn’t just one vampire. If it was just one vampire, he wouldn’t have believed it, but there were so many. The many vampires he’s tracked, captured, and tortured, to revenge his parents’ deaths, all said the same thing. There is no way they all could have lied against Loki. They were being tortured. They couldn’t have made those up when they were dying in pain. Thor finishes his drink as the words that haunted him for months once again fill his head, the many voices of those vampires repeating the same words over and over again.

 

_Odin killed Laufey’s mate._ _He_ _should have known what_ _was_ _coming. You don’t just kill a mate of a vampire and expect to live on like nothing happened._ _W_ _hen Laufey was planning for his revenge, he found this little boy on the street. Oh, you should have seen Laufey’s face then. He said this was going to be his biggest revenge. Even I have to admit, Loki’s been the biggest success of Laufey. I mean getting himself adopted to Odin’s family was already more than enough success, but guess what he did? He seduced you! The only son of Odin! The golden boy! He made you all soft and_ _sentimental_ _! You know that day you lost your parents? That was all Loki’s plan! Odin seemed to have noticed though, because he came running back to your house, but it was already late. Loki was already waiting for him with Laufey._ _A_ _nd it was such a sweet revenge! Killing the world’s best vampire slayer, cutting him apart slowly! Oh, I still get excited just thinking about it! Loki was rewarded, of course. He was given the gift of eternity! You better watch out, Thor Odinson! He’s going to come for you. Loki Laufeyson’s going to come and get you just like he did with_ _your father_ _!_

 

Those vampires cackled until their heads were off. Thor killed the first vampire out of disgust. It was outrageous! The nonsense they spoke of against Loki. But that nonsense didn’t end with just one. There were more, and more, and more. They keep saying the same thing about Loki and Laufey.

 

After months of hearing the same lies over and over, Thor was a changed man. What he believed to be lies became the truth. As he cut the head off of each vampire, he would grit his teeth in anger and yell.

 

“Let that bastard come. I’ll be waiting here. I’ll cut his head off just like I did yours.”

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

 

As Thor finishes off his drink and watches the sun burn brightly over the sky, he sees a red truck pulling in to his temporary house. The rusty red truck instantly brings a smile to Thor’s face. The door to the truck opens and a handsome man comes out with an armful of jars filled with what looks like blood.

 

“Thanks for the delivery, Steve.”

 

“Just how many vampires do you have down in your basement to torture?”

 

Steve asks and winces at the image that comes into his head, something that he does not want to think about. He doesn’t like the idea of torture. Yes, he’s a hunter, but that doesn’t mean he enjoys hurting others, whether a monster or not. If he catches a monster, then he kills it because it harmed people, not just because it’s a monster. Steve knows Thor was just the same until a year ago when Thor lost everything and Steve couldn’t do anything to stop him from changing into a cold-blooded hunter. Steve never expected any of his friends to be described as “cold-blooded,” least of all Thor. Loki always used to tease him and say Thor was like a big, fluffy dog, always happy and loyal. Now Steve sees none of that in him anymore. Wherever he goes, hunters know Thor’s name, the famous, vicious vampire slayer living up to his dead father’s expectations.

 

Thor helps Steve carry the jars back into the house. Silence now filled the house. _Loki stopped crying._ Thor knows Loki is in excruciating pain. Usually by this time, other vampires would have been crying and screaming in pain, even begging for a quick death instead of enduring further torture. Loki’s body has been filled with dead man’s blood and silver. He’s unable to move freely while the silver delivers sharp pains to his body inside and out. In addition to that, Thor cut his body up with that silver dagger Loki made for him years ago. Thor shakes his head at the irony.

 

“The ones with the black top are dead man’s blood and the ones with the gold top is fresh animal blood. Why did you ask for fresh blood anyways?”

 

“I finally captured the one I was looking for. It’s not going to be the regular routine of capture and kill. I’m gonna take some time with this one.”

 

Thor sees Steve wince at his words. He simply smirks and grabs a few of the jars from him as he turns to head back to the basement. Steve can’t help but worry. Ever since Thor’s lost his family, he has looked tired, but today, he looks more than just tired. The look in his eyes makes Steve uneasy.

 

“Thor, who is it?”

 

“…… Loki.”

 

 

∞∞∞∞∞

 

 

Loki slowly opens his eyes as the unexpected noise reaches the basement. There are two voices. He knows one voice belongs to Thor, the deep voice which has always reminded Loki of a thunder roaring in a storm. The other voice, however, Loki cannot make out, though it sounds so familiar. They’re yelling and then, there is a thud, something hitting the ground. Loki painfully moves his arm to raise his body up. _Maybe Thor’s in danger._ All of a sudden, there is a sound of rushed footsteps coming closer to Loki.

 

“Loki!”

 

“…… Steve?”

 

Everything’s a mess; both his sight and hearing are damaged with the silver in his body. But if Loki’s not mistaken, that’s Steve. As the man walks closer towards him, Loki can see the worried look on his face and he can’t help but give him a weak smile. _Oh, that puppy face of his._ And Loki would have given him a hug if he wasn’t chained to the bed.

 

“Are you, are you okay?”

 

“I’m fine. It’s nothing I can’t handle, but Steve, you got to let me go. Please.”

 

Loki can’t hide his disappointment and hurt from his face when Steve is suddenly hesitant, stopping just far enough from the bed. _Keeping a safe distance from the monster._ Loki can see that Steve is struggling whether to come closer or stay away. His hand reaches out to lightly touch one of the many cuts on Loki’s body.

 

“I’m so sorry about what happened to you, but… Loki, I’ve heard some things. I hope they’re wrong, but I don’t know. I don’t know what to believe. Thor says those rumors are true, but-“

 

“They’re not rumors. Everything you’ve heard about Loki’s true. Loki Laufeyson, the great schemer, the great trickster, and the greatest liesmith of all.”

 

Steve is interrupted as Thor approaches them from the stairs, his hands holding the jars Steve brought. Loki takes a deep breath and he knows. _Blood._ He shuts his eyes and his breath quickens with excitement. He tells himself to remain calm, to never give up to his instincts, but _I’m in so much pain and oh, that blood will take the pain away!_

 

“He lied to us all. He used us and he left. That’s the only truth we need to know about.”

 

Loki’s eyes open wide as Thor sets one of the jars near him. As he twists the cap to open it, Loki desperately turns to Steve for help, shaking his head.

 

“Thor, stop it. What are you trying to do?”

 

“I’m trying to show you what he is. He’s not the Loki we knew. The Loki we knew never existed, Steve. It was all an act put up by this monster in front of us so that Laufey can kill my parents.”

 

“Wh- What?”

 

Everything seems to make sense. So this is what Thor was talking about all along. Loki shakes his head at the absurdity of the situation. _I was putting up an act to trick them for Laufey?_ And all of a sudden, Loki seethes with anger. _How dare he think so low of me?_ _What a fool to believe in such absurd lies!_

 

“What did Laufey promise you, Loki? Did he promise you immortality? Did he promise you power? Did he say ‘get in bed with the Odinson’ so you can trick us all?”

 

“Don’t you dare say that, Thor Odinson, I’m warning you!”

 

Thor’s body stills as Loki shouts at him with an unexpected anger. Both of them, breaths heavy with emotions, stare at each other until Thor smirks and shakes his head. Steve’s eyes move from Thor to Loki repeatedly as he’s uncertain whether to interfere or not.

 

“Who told you that? Who on Earth told you that? I haven’t met Laufey until I was turned. The only time I’ve ever heard of his name was when your father decided to kill his mate without a good reason! If it wasn’t for him-”

 

“Do not dishonor my father’s name with your lies!” Steve quickly steps between them to stop Thor from attacking the other.

 

“Oh, you say with _my lies_? If only you knew the truth, Odinson! If you’re already broken like this with those silly lies you’ve heard, you won’t be able to survive knowing the truth! Your father is-” Loki bites his tongue before the truth comes out. _No, no, I swore to myself I’ll never speak of it._

 

“If your love for me was ever true, you would have never believed those lies,” Loki whispers.

 

“If you ever loved me like you said, then you wouldn’t have left me like that. You could have told me the truth then. Why didn’t you?” Thor’s voice is heavy with grief.

 

“I was a fool, then, to think that I could protect you from the truth.” Loki turns his head to the side to hide his tears.

 

“I don’t believe you. You would have told me. The Loki I knew would have told me the truth from the beginning and we would have found a way to make it work, together. No, the Loki I knew would never just leave me like that. Never.”

 

It doesn’t take long for Thor’s face, so hurt and vulnerable, to return to its sternness. His eyes, once teary, harden with anger wanting revenge. He roughly shakes Steve’s hands from his body and walks to the opposite side of the wall to take down the thick curtain that covered up the dirty window.

 

Steve knows he’ll never be able to forget what happened next. He’ll never forget the light that quickly swallowed the darkness of the basement; a light that was even bright for Steve’s eyes. He’ll never forget the sound of Loki’s cry filled with agony. He’ll never forget the sound of Loki’s skin sizzling as it burned.

 

Coming to his senses, Steve takes his jacket off and covers Loki’s body, or at least whatever part he can, and rushes towards Thor to yank the curtain from his hands and put it back up. Surprisingly, Thor doesn’t fight him. He just stands there, staring at Loki, who was shaking frantically in pain. He lets out short gasps as if he’s having trouble breathing. And Thor just stands there watching him. Steve, for the first time in his life, really wants to punch him in the face.

 

But instead, Steve does what needs to be done. He runs back to Loki. Steve tries to remove his jacket covering his face, but the grasp on it only tightens. Steve can hear Loki whimpering under the jacket.

 

“It’s okay, Loki. It’s dark again. I promise.”

 

It takes a while of persuasion until Loki finally lets go of the jacket. Steve winces as he sees Loki’s pale skin turned red, covered in blisters. Steve is completely oblivious in helping out vampires with a severe burn. He’s only ever killed them so far. He’s hesitant to even place his hand on Loki’s skin.

 

“What, what can I do? What should I do?”

 

“Take Thor away,” Loki whispers as he tries to hold his tears back. He’s never been in so much pain. He wants someone to hold him and fix him, take away all his pain. He wants that person to be Thor, but he’s the one who caused all this pain in the first place. Loki feels betrayed. He just can’t bear to see Thor right now. The pain, the betrayal, the thirst; he doesn’t want to blame Thor for them. He wants him out of his sight.

 

“You heard him, Thor. At least just for a while, leave him. It’s not like he can go anywhere anyways with this much pain.” Steve snaps at Thor, something very unlikely of him. It showed how angry and disappointed he was at his friend.

 

“I’ll be back,” Thor says quietly as he leaves to go upstairs and Loki’s not sure whether he should be angry or sad when he sees Thor’s eyes just as hurt as his.

 

 

∞∞∞∞∞

 

 

“Okay, what do you need me to do?” Steve asks as soon as Thor leaves.

 

“Do you trust me, Steve?” Loki knows there is no other way out of this. Neither lies nor tricks will work. That would only worsen the situation. Loki knows he needs to gain trust more than anything else.

 

“Loki-“

 

“If you don’t trust me, just leave me be. But please, for our past friendship’s sake, help me. Help me get out of here. Steve, I cannot persuade him with my words. He believes in those lies! I need to prove to him that they’re not true. Please, Steve, please.”

 

Though Steve shows reluctance at first, it doesn’t take long for him to make up his mind. As far as he can see, Loki was just Loki, the guy he’s always known since Thor invited him home for dinner a few years ago. He can’t see any lies or tricks in those green eyes filled with desperation and misery.

 

“Alright, what do you need?”

 

“Blood. Blood is my only cure from this pain.” Loki almost gives his hopes up when he sees Steve distancing himself from the bed. He bites his lips and shuts his eyes, hoping that Thor wouldn’t come back until this burning pain eases. But soon, something cold touches his cheek and Loki sees Steve holding the jar in front of him.

 

“Make it quick before Thor comes back,” Steve whispers, his eyes still full of doubt.

 

Steve twists the cap and Loki can’t help but let out a shuddering breath as his body quivers in excitement. The man tilts the jar so that the blood can pour into Loki’s mouth without any difficulty. He feels extremely uncomfortable feeding blood to Loki, something that he should be stopping rather than helping, but with both Loki’s hands tied to the bed post and his burns, there was no other way. He looks away from the vampire’s mouth eagerly drinking away the blood.

 

Steve’s eyes soon widen in surprise as he sees Loki’s burnt skin slowly regenerate back to its smooth skin; the blisters disappeared in the matter of minutes and his reddened skin back to its paleness. Steve returns his gaze to Loki’s face. The tiredness was gone from his eyes and he looked rather pleased, his lips curling slightly upwards.

 

“Are there more?” Loki asks as he licks his lips not fully satisfied yet.

 

“I don’t think that’s really… um, a safe idea, Loki.” Steve’s unsure whether to be relieved or worried to see the energy return to Loki, his eyes now flashing with excitement.

 

“I need to get out of these chains.” Loki says quietly as he tries to twist out of the silver chains tying him down to the bed. He hisses as they cut his skin bringing another sharp pain to his wrists. Soon, Steve is next to him untangling the chains for him. After a bit of struggling from the both of them, eventually the chains are gone. Loki gets off from the bed and grabs another jar with such quickness that by the time Steve realizes what has happened, the cap is already opened and the blood inside it pours down to Loki’s body.

 

“What are you doing?” Steve stares in shock as Loki’s pale skin gets covered in blood.

 

“How else am I to go out in the sun?”

 

“Oh…” _Well, that’s something new,_ Steve thinks, his eyes still stuck on Loki now rubbing the blood on his skin more thoroughly. It’s quite terrifying to see someone covered in blood. It reminds him of some of the monsters he’s had to kill, or that serial killer from that horrible movie he watched with some of his buddies a couple weeks ago. But when Loki comes closer with a gentle smile on his face, barely recognizable from the blood, Steve can’t help but smile shyly back at him like they used to until last year.

 

“You know I’ll never, ever hurt you, or Thor. I’m not some… I am in control of my body, my instincts.”

 

“I believe you. Or else, I wouldn’t have helped you. It’s just Thor. He’s so sure about it that… I mean, you guys basically grew up together and he told me that the rumors were true and since it was coming from him, someone who knows you better than anyone else, I thought they were… true.” Steve turns his gaze down to the dusty floor apologetically.

 

“Despite it all, I can neither blame nor hate him for what he’s become. You know Thor, Steve. He’s always so happy that when something upsets him, he doesn’t know what to do or how to handle it. He needs guidance, someone to help him out, when something bad happens around him. When the worst happened, when he needed me the most, I left him. I wasn’t there to help him make the right decisions. No one can be blamed for what happened today, but me. But I’m going to fix it. I will. If he refuses to listen to the truth then I will have to force him to see it. I’ll prove what he believes is a lie.”

 

“And since you won’t take kindly to my way of dealing with Thor now-”

 

There is a sharp and quick strike to Steve’s neck and he is knocked unconscious. Loki’s face is filled with guilt as he carries the man’s body to the bed. Though Loki will be forever grateful for Steve’s help, this problem is between Thor and him. He gently rubs his fingers on Steve’s hair.

 

“I’m sorry, but I hope you understand. Thank you for everything.” Loki whispers into Steve’s ear.

 

 

∞∞∞∞∞

 

 

Thor lets out a heavy sigh as he drinks his fifth bottle of beer. It was done in a fit of anger. He never actually meant to do it, but he knows that would never be a good excuse for hurting Loki. He will never forget that look on Loki’s eyes. His eyes reflected Thor’s; the betrayal, the hurt, the blame, and all the things unsaid.

 

“Drinking is not the best idea when you need to defend yourself.”

 

A cold voice fills his ear and before Thor can do anything, strong hands grab him by the shoulders and slam him on the table. In front of him was Loki covered in blood, his green eyes glowing in anger. Thor kicks and pushes, but Loki’s unmovable with his inhuman strength.

 

“What have you done to Steve?”

 

“Oh, shush, like I would ever hurt him!”

 

Thor’s heart aches. Loki always used to shush him whenever he would say something silly with a light smack to his head. Frigga always used to laugh at them for it. He almost laughs when he waits for a smack to his head. How can everything fall apart so fast?

 

“Where’s Steve?”

 

“He’s safe and sound, so don’t worry.” Loki snaps as he pushes Thor harder down onto the table.

 

“You could have just left. Why didn’t you?” Thor groans as the pains amplifies, Loki pushing his weight down with so much strength. Loki was never known for his strength. Whenever they would wrestle as boys, it was always Thor who would win. Now the situation is reversed.

 

“Because you’re a fool and you deserve more than a smack on the head for being so stupid.”

 

There’s that look again; the look that Loki gave him when he took the curtains down. Why? Why would he give him that look? He doesn’t have the right to blame him for anything! It’s because of him that he lost his parents! His whole love, the love they shared, all became a lie because of him! So why does he look hurt? Why?

 

“If you’re going to kill me, just shut up and do it.” Thor grunts out, having trouble breathing.

 

Suddenly his body is lift up from the table and thrown to the wall with a great force. He feels as his bones are broken. As he struggles to breathe, the impact hitting his chest hard, Loki drags him up and pushes him to the wall once again.

 

“Thor Odinson, don’t you think for a second that I can’t! I can tear your body up and rip your heart out while it’s still beating! I can bleed you to death, I can skin you, and I can break your bones into pieces! Oh, I can do more than that! I can be as creative as I want because I can! I can do whatever I want to you and to anyone else!” Loki’s grip on Thor is bruising, no, it’s more than bruising.

 

“So why don’t you then?” Thor shouts as he weakly tries to push Loki away.

 

“Because I’m not a monster! Because I chose to be better than that! Why can’t you see that it’s not what we are that makes us a monster! It’s what we choose to do! I will never do any of those because I’m not a monster who gives up to his instincts. I will never hurt you, Thor, never! Why can’t you see that? Why can’t you see the truth in that? Why do you hurt yourself and hurt me with the lies you believe?”

 

Loki’s grip is gone and they both drop to the floor. A cold hand carefully reaches Thor’s face to wipe the tears off his face and Thor can’t help but grab onto it with his own.

 

“I’m sorry, Thor. I’m so sorry that I left you. I was scared. I didn’t know what else to do. You’re a hunter. I was scared that you’ll… you’ll be disgusted with what I’ve become. … But I guess whatever I do I can’t avoid that disgusted look of yours. To you, I’ll always be monster.” Loki blinks hard to avoid his vision from blurring.

 

“You can think whatever of me. If you think of me a monster, then fine. But I want you to know that our past was never a lie. I wasn’t some ‘spy’ sent from Laufey. I lost my family on my thirteenth birthday. I saw them die screaming and begging for help as those vampires took their sweet time torturing them. Thor, you know better than to trust those lies. No child that young can act out that pain. No child that age can understand the pain of losing a family like that. You cannot possibly believe that all those years that I woke up screaming from my nightmares and my breakdowns were acts put up to trick you.”

 

Thor’s grasp on Loki’s hand tightens. “You left me, Loki. You left me. I could have, I could have made it through if only you were next to me, but you left me. Everyone left me. I needed a reason. I wanted a reason to explain why all this shit happened to me all at once. I needed something, someone to blame for all this. And when I heard those vampires talk about you, I… It drove me mad, but it helped me make sense of everything. I felt like I found an answer.”

 

“Well, you found the wrong one, Thor.”

 

“You weren’t there to correct me then.”

 

A sob escapes Loki’s mouth as he tries to smile. Loki’s bloody hand was staining Thor’s face, the tears wetting the now dried blood. He wants to hug him, he wants to kiss him, he wants to go to bed with him, and he wants to wake up and know that the first person he’ll see is Thor, not an empty space of a torn down building. But he has to leave. He has to leave now. He lowers his hand from Thor’s face as he stands up to walk out the door.

 

“Where are you going?” Thor wants to follow him, but his body is in too much pain to move fast enough.

 

“You’re not the only who were told lies. I need some answers. The truth.”

 

“Loki-“

 

“Next time, you won’t be catching me so easily. You taught me to be more cautious now. When everything… When I find the truth to everything, I’ll be back. Soon.”

 

It takes all his strength to not look back, to see Thor’s face once more. And he moves without rest to find his answers. To find Laufey.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have a new character! Yay! ...  
> We'll have another new character next chapter. ehehe.  
> Sorry for the slow update guys. I hate school.

**Author's Note:**

> *Also posted on [tumblr](http://ambiguouslines.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Reviews and comments are greatly appreciated!


End file.
